you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
