he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize