Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
