K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
whose parrot is this?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
