Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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