i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
