Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
