Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize