I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
