I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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