Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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