This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
