Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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