How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
