I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Enjoy the penises
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
