I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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