Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
