just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
pray to the hookup gods
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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