I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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