Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she smelled like a LAN party
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
