you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
