They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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