That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
