please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize