Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
