I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
