Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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