i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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