I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
