Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
