Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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