Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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