How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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