matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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