no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Vodka?
Forever.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
