i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize