She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
