So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
