I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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