Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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