you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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