HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize