..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
