Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
