Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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