is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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