Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
