You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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