Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize