East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
