yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
