I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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