we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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