problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
