I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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