hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize