his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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