Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
