P.S. I can't hear my feet
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
