Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize