Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
