if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
