I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
