do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
