i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
