Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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