I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just googled if crying burns calories
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
