The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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