You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
