Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize