i don't like sucking hair
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
