Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
