Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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