are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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