normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
