So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
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