i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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