I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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