How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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