i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
